When I was younger I didn't always follow my heart, I did what I thought I was supposed to do. I went to college. I got a job. A couple times I did some slight course corrections and tweaked that a bit but mostly I "pushed through" to get it done and over with. I went back to college...I pushed through to get it done again. Then I got in a pattern of pushing and basically I've now broken that engine! There are things now I know I need to work on, get done, including good things like creating better, healthier habits. But my approach has to be different. I can't just push through and get it done anymore. I don't have the energy for it and life doesn't work that way.
I used to think this was motivation. That I was motivated to get a college degree. That I was motivated to be a responsible adult. That I was motivated by the love of theatre to work in that field. But now I think I was just riding the Should train. That's not to say that any of those things are bad or that I don't love theatre but I wasn't really motivated by a passion but by a preconceived idea of what I Should be doing. I know I've blogged about Shoulding on yourself before. But it's a hard lesson to learn. One I come up against a lot and I think there are a lot of people who can relate.
So now I'm struggling with finding my passion. Finding true motivation that I can enjoy and am pulled toward doing things instead of pushing through them. I am trying to build slowly and to pay attention as to what works for me and what doesn't in creating healthier living and a passion for life. I'm not rushing in to get things done but to enjoy the process and truly learn from it. We can't discover or make long term changes if we are just going through the motions. As much as we would like a quick fix to things in our lives the only real way to create is slowly with relish and interest, absorbing the change and making it our own.
I used to think this was motivation. That I was motivated to get a college degree. That I was motivated to be a responsible adult. That I was motivated by the love of theatre to work in that field. But now I think I was just riding the Should train. That's not to say that any of those things are bad or that I don't love theatre but I wasn't really motivated by a passion but by a preconceived idea of what I Should be doing. I know I've blogged about Shoulding on yourself before. But it's a hard lesson to learn. One I come up against a lot and I think there are a lot of people who can relate.
So now I'm struggling with finding my passion. Finding true motivation that I can enjoy and am pulled toward doing things instead of pushing through them. I am trying to build slowly and to pay attention as to what works for me and what doesn't in creating healthier living and a passion for life. I'm not rushing in to get things done but to enjoy the process and truly learn from it. We can't discover or make long term changes if we are just going through the motions. As much as we would like a quick fix to things in our lives the only real way to create is slowly with relish and interest, absorbing the change and making it our own.
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