What still continues to happen though is my communication centers shut down. If I'm taking care of business...not a problem I get the message out. But if it's just conversation? Forget it. My brain can't do it. It thinks of things an hour or two after I get home! (Sorry to the people who had to hear it late at night!) But on the spot talking doesn't happen. By week four this is letting up and I'm much more comfortable with people, however that is when the show ends! Then there is dealing with the loss. Even though I'm tired and ready to move on from the show I'm just starting to talk to people and that makes things very difficult to wrap up. I imagine this is fairly common for most introverts. Maybe there are some introverts who wouldn't make that much effort because they don't want to meet people. But being in a new town makes this more challenging to transition in and out of these shows. It probably helps that I recognize what is going on, but let me tell you it's still hard to take. What I've also learned is I have to release that energy, the energy of frustration, separateness, the effort to connect with the people I find interesting, feeling like I've failed at basic interaction, and I'm sure a lot of other thoughts and feelings of which I'm not fully aware! To release them you have to feel them. You have to recognize them as energy, as flowing and not let them get stuck. This has been my work this week. The transition back into my own energy really. Now the trick I want to work on is not transitioning out of my energy in the first place and to lessen the sensory overload. As I learn more and more about my energy circulation this will come to me. Wearing quartz does help! I learned that. I believe the key, like with many low emotions, is to stop the overload before it happens. Once you are in it it is difficult to focus your energy to get out of it, because your energy is scattered with being in overload. SO exercises to stay in my energy at the start of these shows and other social adventures is what I will be working on before October's next show!
This is the introvert energy...let's find ways to deal with it better!